ME/CFS: Dealing With A Setback Part 2
In part 1 Coach and Trainer Simon Pimenta looked at how the way we respond to a relapse can actually make things worse.
In Part 2, Simon shares strategies that can help how we handle the setback, and may influence our recovery from the setback.
If you haven’t read Dealing With A Relapse Part 1, you can read it here
Strategies for Dealing With Setbacks
Step 1: Reframe It
The way we think about our experience and the language you use has an effect on how we feel.
Sometimes people say:
"I'm in a crash."
That sounds very dramatic.
They say:
"I'm having a relapse."
Again.
That sounds dramatic.
There's a prediction of how long it's going to last.
Consider how it feels when you describe the setback in the following ways:
"I've experienced a setback."
"I'm in an adjustment period."
"I'm recuperating."
Maybe you can come up with some other terminology that feels right for you that gives you a sense of:
"This is temporary."
"I will come out of this."
Step 2: Write It Down
There is research that demonstrates the positive benefits of focusing on emotions and processing of an experience - making sense of it.
There are at least two reasons for doing this.
- It can help get it out of your head
- You may gain insights
So the first thing to do, if you can, is to write down the following:
(i) What happened
(ii) Your thoughts about what has happened
(iii) Your feelings about what has happened
(iv) Consider what you can learn from what has happened, and think about how you might approach things differently if you were faced with the same situation
again.Sometimes you might not immediately see any useful take away.
That’s ok, just be open to gaining some insight at some future point.
I know that some people might not feel physically able to do this. If you can, talk to someone and get them to write it down for you.
Step 3: Have some new thoughts
Now that you have written down your thoughts and feelings, make the decision that you have had that thought and you not going to have it again.
Decide to let go of any mistakes you made.
Step 4: Relax
Your job now is to get yourself into a RELAXED state.
I know that this can be easier said than done, when you are not feeling great.
I have been there.
However, you now know that continuing having those frustrated thoughts is going to have undesirable effects on your your symptoms.
Some of my clients say “I can’t relax”.
Consider the words of Richard Bach “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.”
My response is that you CAN learn.
It takes practice.
What we practice, we get good at.
If you can be good at not being relaxed, you can learn to be good at relaxing.
Do whatever works for you to get yourself into a relaxed state.
Whether it is listening to a particular piece of music, a relaxation CD, or doing some meditation, spend at least 15 minutes to half an hour getting yourself in a relaxed state.
Try the following exercise.
Step 5: Relaxation And Visualisation
Visualisation is powerful.
It can shift our physiology.
An exercise you can do to help activate the healing response is to remember a really relaxing experience.
Imagine being there right now.
Obviously, only close your eyes and do this, if it is safe to do so.
Focus on the things that you see, the sounds you hear, and the physical sensations.
Really allow yourself to immerse yourself in the experience.
For example, I find being on a beach, lying on a sun lounger relaxing.
With my eyes closed, I will talk myself through the experience, in my head, or out loud.
Only speak as you are breathing out:
So I breathe in, and as I breathe out I say: “I am at a beautiful beach.”
I breathe in, and as I breathe out I say: “And I notice the things I see.”
I will continue in this way, saying:
“I notice the blue sky, the colour of the sea, the sand.
I can hear the sounds of the waves breaking on the shore, and the sounds of the palm trees in the breeze.
I am lying on a comfortable sun lounger.
I can feel the warmth of the air on my skin, and with each breath I am feeling more relaxed.”
I feel relaxed as I am doing this right now!
The principle is that what we think- good or bad, about affects how we feel.
Or you can try the TIME OUT relaxation technique that I share here
Do not underestimate the importance and therapeutic benefits of doing this.
There is much research that supports the importance of relaxation supporting the body’s healing.
1 Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and emotional expression http://link.springer.com/article/10.1207/S15324796ABM2403_10
Closing Thoughts
Navigating setbacks with compassion and intentional strategies can make a significant difference and support your healing/recovery.
By reframing your thoughts, processing your experience through reflection or journaling, and committing to relaxation practices, you can reduce the intensity of negative emotions and support your body’s healing.
Remember, setbacks are not permanent; they are moments of adjustment that offer opportunities for growth.
Be gentle with yourself, trust the process, and continue to explore tools that foster resilience and well-being.
SIMON PIMENTA is a hypnotherapist, coach and trainer working with people to boost resilience and performance, and minimise stress.
After working in a demanding job as the Director of a Housing Trust, he went off sick and remained unable to work for the next 8 years.
He discovered a pioneering approach to resolving health issues and quickly got back his health, and now trains others using these same techniques, to help them become happier, healthier and achieve their goals.
